Spare Tire is Gone – Chapter 61

This blogger was a real doctor certified by Weibo, and he posted for many years, so he was one of the most authoritative and popular doctor bloggers on Weibo.

The long article he posted was divided into three parts:

The first part was based on all of Qi Cong’s published examination reports. He organized and analyzed the overall course of Qi Cong’s illness over the past three years, from the start of the illness to the recent sudden recovery.

The second part was based on Qi Cong’s past and present psychological evaluation reports, analyzing the meaning and possible reasons behind Qi Cong’s abnormal speech and behavior after his illness.

The third part contained all of Qi Cong’s examination reports and analyzed the negative influence of Jiang Zhaoyan on his condition.

In the first part, the blogger acknowledged all the doctors’ diagnoses of Qi Cong’s illness in the past, while rejecting some speculation on the Internet from some time ago about the possibility of Qi Cong having split personality disorder. Then it focused on two situations: Qi Cong’s abnormal dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan after his amnesia, and his sudden memory recovery after his attempted suicide, as well as losing all his memories related to Jiang Zhaoyan.

He analyzed these two points carefully.

First, the dependence.

Qi Cong’s dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan emerged from two premises – Qi Cong lost all his memories of the past and remembered just Jiang Zhaoyan. He remembered that it was Jiang Zhaoyan who brought him to the hospital when he had a high fever and was his savior.

In other words, for Qi Cong at that time, the whole world was strange and only the existence of Jiang Zhaoyan represented safety.

A person who knows nothing about the world from a psychological standpoint was like a newborn so it was perfectly normal for him to instinctively rely on the only person he knew that saved him before.

This wasn’t much different from a baby bird situation – the young bird would unconditionally rely on and trust their mother, that he would be kept safe and must stay near their mother. The amnesiac Qi Cong felt the same way towards Jiang Zhaoyan.

Here, the blogger highlighted the root of this dependency – Qi Cong felt safe around Jiang Zhaoyan and felt that he could trust Jiang Zhaoyan to take care of him.

Then the doctor began to analyze Qi Cong’s sudden recovery.

Qi Cong recovery came after his attempted suicide, which was caused by Jiang Zhaoyan’s words and actions that pushed him into a desperate situation – his means of survival were taken away (he was forced to leave his job), he was emotionally abandoned and denied (Jiang Zhaoyan hid his engagement to another person), and his nest was no longer safe (his home was frequently broken into by Jiang Zhaoyin and his family and even his personal belongings were thrown away).

In other words, by this point, the foundation of Qi Cong’s dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan – the sense of security, trust, and protection – has all been broken by Jiang Zhaoyan’s own hand so he decided to commit suicide.

He no longer trusted Jiang Zhaoyan, no longer felt safe to stay by Jiang Zhaoyan’s side, and no longer thought that Jiang Zhaoyan would protect him. Instead he realized that Jiang Zhaoyan might only bring him harm.

At the end of the analysis, the blogger said that, combined with the previous analysis, he believed that Qi Cong’s sudden memory recovery and his forgetting all the memories related to Jiang Zhaoyan shouldn’t be seen as the result of a physical suicide, but rather as the result of psychological “suicide.”

The so-called psychological “suicide” was that when Qi Cong decided to die, the psychological protection barrier formed in his heart because of his sudden memory loss and the rooted dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan, collapsed and died with Jiang Zhaoyan’s “betrayal” due to all his harmful acts.

This kind of suicide wasn’t active, it was passive. It was also a product of his illness and this passive psychological “suicide” was what prompted Qi Cong’s memories to recover and forget Jiang Zhaoyan.

As the old saying goes, you can’t stand unless you break it. When the temporary protective barrier inside Qi Cong’s heart that was created because of amnesia and illness were broken, out of the instinct of self-protection, the human body would automatically awaken another more stable protective barrier in the subconscious. This was the normal protective barrier that was deeply buried because of Qi Cong’s memory loss.

After the normal protective barrier was awakened, those past memories, which were the cornerstones of the previous barrier, were naturally restored. In order to better stabilize this barrier, the human body would automatically clean up the “garbage” that could harm it, which was also the barrier created by Qi Cong based on his dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan during his amnesia.

Since the “garbage” was cleared away, the memories and feelings contained in this “garbage” would naturally disappear.

This analysis was somewhat roundabout, but the truth was basically the truth.

At this point the blogger made an analogy in order to make it easier for everyone to understand.

He said that before the age of 21, Qi Cong before his memory loss could be considered a normal running computer, but the high fever that caused Qi Cong’s amnesia at the age of 21 was a computer glitch.

This malfunction led to a problem with Qi Cong’s memory system and running system, and then at the first sign of the problem, a repair program that wasn’t suitable called Jiang Zhaoyan appeared by coincidence.

Having lost his memory system, Qi Cong, who was at a loss as to how to properly repair himself, instinctively grabbed Jiang Zhaoyan – the repair program and at the first opportunity tried to repair himself through this repair program.

Yet an unsuitable repair program was after all an unsuitable repair program. Maybe it could temporarily stop the system from collapsing, but trying to really restore Qi Cong to health was impossible.

The wrong repair program ran day after day, taking Qi Cong farther and farther in the wrong direction. Then one day the repair program pulls out in a way that hurts Qi Cong. Then his system that has been operating with the wrong fixes for three years simply collapsed.

There are two outcomes for a crashed computer -directly scrapping it, or saving it.

Qi Cong as a computer saved itself strongly.

After the crash, he instinctively activated the correct patch that came originally with the computer and restored the system to the settings before the failure. In order to avoid paralysis and collapse again, the system cleaned up Jiang Zhaoyan’s wrong repair program and its traces left as viruses are cleaned up, by blocking its path of comeback.

At this point, the first part of the analysis was considered complete. The blogger concluded that Qi Cong’s memory loss and personality change weren’t a split personality disorder, but a “malfunction”, a psychological “malfunction” based on amnesia.

Following this emphasis, the blogger started the second part of the analysis – the meaning and possible reasons behind Qi Cong’s abnormal words and deeds after his illness.

With the first part of the analysis as the basis, this part of the analysis was much simpler.

The blogger mentioned a main point before officially starting this part. He suggested that everyone shouldn’t use the standard of measuring normal people’s words and actions to look at what Qi Cong did in the past three years, because for the past three years Qi Cong was actually sick.

Even if he looked extremely healthy on the outside, his spiritual world may have always been in an extremely disturbed, sensitive, unhealthy and crippled state.

After mentioning this point, the doctor began to analyze one by one some of Qi Cong’s behavior after his illness, and some of Qi Cong words and actions that the public cared about the most at this time. Such as Qi Cong’s great change in temperament, his excessive dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan, and his almost cowardly obedience and submissiveness in the face of Jiang Zhaoyan and the Jiang family. Qi Cong neglecting his own parents, deserting his studies and the disorderly management of his properties, and so on.

The analysis was very simple because the cause of these words and deeds was the same – Qi Cong had amnesia. He was ill and his illness hadn’t been properly guided and treated. The support of the operation of his inner world at this time was Jiang Zhaoyan, so in order to not allow himself to collapse, he instinctively revolved his life around Jiang Zhaoyan, paying little attention to others.

Probably because he couldn’t bear to scratch at Qi Cong’s scars in public again, this part of the blogger’s article was very brief, without too much in-depth analysis.

At the end of the second part, the doctor’s tone suddenly became serious. He opened the last part of this long article with a harsh sentence, analyzing the negative impact of Jiang Zhaoyan on Qi Cong’s illness.

He wrote: I have always known that it’s not only the disease but also the heart that can take the life of a patient. Still, this is the first time I really saw such a human heart.

After saying this, he posted a table.

In the table, he divided Qi Cong’s illness into three stages. The initial reversable stage (the period from when Qi Con lost his memories to the point when he left his parents), the middle disorientation stage (after he left his parents to go to Jiang Zhaoyan to when he left Yanghuang), and the late collapse stage (from when he left Yanghuang and tried to commit suicide).

After these three stages, the blogger explained, in as easy-to-understand language as possible, what state Qi Cong might be in at each stage, and how to treat him correctly.

In the early days, the doctor blogger believed that Qi Cong’s situation wasn’t serious yet, although Qi Cong at this stage was emotionally unstable and dependent on Jiang Zhaoyan because of his memory loss.

If during this period of time his family could help him get rid of the anxiety caused by his memory loss as soon as possible and let him establish as many emotional ties with people other than Jiang Zhaoyan by bringing him back to a familiar environment to gradually help him get in touch with the memories of the past, then his psychological state of imbalance due to amnesia could have been put back on the right track.

In the middle stage, Qi Cong’s dependence on Jiang Zhaoyan has begun to become abnormal. He was completely cut off from his past, completely isolated, and the only one he could trust and hold on to was Jiang Zhaoyan.

If during this period of time Jiang Zhaoyan could have given Qi Cong a stable and safe environment and taken the initiative to take Qi Cong to his see his family and make him go to the hospital for medical treatment, or even simply treat Qi Cong gently and tolerantly, then Qi Cong’s health would have greatly improved.

Then came the last stage. By this stage the psychological state of Qi Cong has become completely deformed. He was trapped in a high tower named Jiang Zhaoyan and couldn’t find a way out.

If Jiang Zhaoyan took the initiative to let Qi Cong go during this period, then perhaps Qi Cong would’ve never reached the end of his road.

At this point, the blogger hasn’t envisioned Qi Cong’s recovery but his expectation was that Qi Cong wouldn’t reach a dead end.

Under the table, the blogger began to analyze what Jiang Zhaoyan did in each of these three stages, and what impact his actions had on Qi Cong’s condition.

When analyzing the first stage, the blogger objectively didn’t blame Jiang Zhaoyan too much.

He wrote that because he didn’t know the details of how Jiang Zhaoyan and Qi Cong got along, he wasn’t sure whether Jiang Zhaoyan had intentionally led Qi Cong away from his family, so he was just assuming that Jiang Zhaoyan did cooperate in helping Qi Cong get treatment at the beginning.

He believes that Qi Yin may have been more responsible for the deterioration of Qi Cong’s condition in the first stage.

If he wanted to find faults with Jiang Zhaoyan at this stage he could only say that Jiang Zhaoyan’s purposeful and insincere accompaniment in the treatment, as well as his hypocritical daily dealings with Qi Yin may have inadvertently aggravated Qi Cong’s distrust in his own parents and his inner anxiety.

Then, at the analysis of the second stage, the blogger’s accusations against Jiang Zhaoyan were no longer restrained.

He wrote bluntly: From the second stage, what Jiang Zhaoyan did to Qi Cong was just pushing him to a dead end.


Edited by: Antiope1


Support translation:

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. RinRin2654

    Or a transmigrator who simply wants to cling to the person.
    I’m early this time!
    Thanks for the chapter!!💖💖

  2. ross0716

    1I’ve been thinking about this since the first controversies and how the background of those 3 years shows, and all I could think about was what a trash Jiang Zjaoyan was, and with every bit of information I left hating the transmigrant so much, he felt more and more sorry for that person, essentially he crossed paths with the worst type of person in a delicate and weak moment, and and although he left a mess to fix for our Qi Cong, he wasn’t in a good place either, imagine waking up in an unknown place with another body and the only source of relief is a Manipulative bastard, he just never stood a chance, it’s literally the textbook on how to control and isolate your partner so they can’t get out of the toxic relationship.

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