Time passed little by little.

The air, which should have felt light, now seemed to have turned viscous. It flowed slowly through the room, giving the people inside a suffocating feeling.

Xiao Rong didn’t know what kind of reaction he wanted to see from Qu Yunmie. His gift could be called a surprise—or a shock—depending entirely on how the listener received it. If, after so long, Qu Yunmie still said nothing, then perhaps he should be considerate and give him a way down from the awkwardness.

He curved his lips, just about to say, ‘I was joking’, when Qu Yunmie suddenly grabbed his hand holding the teacup.

There was still a little tea inside. The sudden movement almost made Xiao Rong spill it onto himself, but even so, Qu Yunmie did not let go.

The cup slipped from Xiao Rong’s hand. Water splashed into the air and fell to the ground—first with a crisp shattering sound, then with a rain-like patter.

No one cared about that at all.

Xiao Rong’s eyes widened. His wrist was still tightly gripped by Qu Yunmie.

Qu Yunmie shouldn’t have used so much force, because he was injured and it would make his wounds tear, but he couldn’t care anymore. He had something he wanted to say to Xiao Rong—words he had hesitated over several times before, but ultimately decided to wait until they returned to Chenliu to say.

Traveling outside wasn’t a good time. Xiao Rong’s emotions were always tense, and they almost always found new disagreements every day. Arguments happened frequently, and accidents kept occurring one after another, leaving no time to breathe.

Qu Yunmie was an impatient man, but on this matter he had unusually forced himself to be patient. He needed the right timing, place, and people. He needed to proceed step by step—just like conquering a realm. In a sense, Xiao Rong was his realm.

Regardless, that was all in the past.

Xiao Rong’s gift had shocked him far too much—so much that a faint feeling had begun to surface in his mind.

It seemed… that Xiao Rong might also have similar feelings for him.

So he didn’t want to wait anymore. He wanted to say it now.

“Rong, Rong.”

His mind went blank. At such a critical moment, he even forgot what he wanted to say. While trying to find his words, he pressed Xiao Rong’s hand against his chest.

There was no hard, cold armor—only soft, worn fabric. Just like the man himself: no flashy skills or appearance, but when he was by your side, you only wanted to lean on him and rest for a night.

His heartbeat was too strong. Through flesh and bone, Xiao Rong could clearly feel the surging vitality and the intense, overwhelming emotion within.

Xiao Rong was now twenty years old, but age could not determine a person’s vision or wisdom. Although young, compared to the Northern Army—which had rarely seen the world or interacted with others—Xiao Rong understood far too much.

So he knew.

He knew Qu Yunmie was special to him. He knew that from their very first meeting, Qu Yunmie had shown him favoritism. He also knew that no one would treat another person well for no reason.

Ten years of family ties hadn’t been enough for him to willingly sit down and eat a reunion meal, yet only half a year of constant companionship had been enough for Qu Yunmie to go to war against Southern Yong for him.

Xiao Rong could lie to himself and say Qu Yunmie needed his brain, his strategies. Without him Qu Yunmie would become foolish and die, but what was the point?

He knew that was not the reason. Qu Yunmie simply did it for him.

The answer was too obvious. At times, Xiao Rong could only be thankful that this was a primitive era, and that the Northern Army had not yet been corrupted by bureaucratic decadence. They didn’t even know that men might love men.

Fortunately, they did not know. It gave him a little time to pretend ignorance.

He could not pretend forever.

It wasn’t only his matter. The other person would eventually realize it, and with such an intense and forceful personality, he wouldn’t agree with Xiao Rong’s avoidance. He would drag him out of the shadows and force him into the light, exposing everything—good and bad—before them both.

……

Suddenly, Xiao Rong spoke quickly. “Don’t say it.”

Qu Yunmie froze. He looked at him.

Xiao Rong frowned tightly. His words came so fast they seemed to bypass thought entirely.

“No matter what you want to say to me, I will not give you the response you want.”

Qu Yunmie’s expression stiffened slightly. He understood.

His face gradually turned pale.

Xiao Rong lowered his eyes.

“I know what I need to do. You don’t understand me at all. I am only suited to being a minister. No other identity suits me. I am not a good grandson, nor a good brother. As long as I can improve everyone’s lives, that is enough. Don’t expect anything else from me, because I cannot give it. I… I tried, but I am too busy, I have no time, I—”

He spoke all of this in just a few seconds. Anyone slower would not have been able to keep up.

As he spoke, Qu Yunmie’s expression gradually turned from shock to confusion.

At that moment, Xiao Rong suddenly gasped for breath. His train of thought broke. He couldn’t remember what came next. Panic rose in him, but his instinct was to defend himself. To build walls so no one could see his broken interior.

He suddenly pulled his hand back forcefully and turned away, breathing rapidly. From this angle, he could not see Qu Yunmie, and he assumed Qu Yunmie could not see him either. In reality, everything about him was fully exposed to Qu Yunmie’s gaze.

His vision blurred slightly, a film of tears forming in his eyes.

He heard the chair move beside him. He thought Qu Yunmie was leaving, but only two steps sounded, and then someone appeared in front of him.

Xiao Rong instinctively tried to look up, but Qu Yunmie had already knelt on one knee.

He still sat taller than Xiao Rong, but only by a small margin. It was a new perspective—one that revealed everything Xiao Rong had tried to hide: his tightly bitten lips, tear-bright eyes, and fingers clenched red.

When Xiao Rong rejected him, Qu Yunmie had felt as if a hammer had struck his head. Only now did he understand what heartbreak truly felt like—because Xiao Rong was suffering too.

Qu Yunmie raised his hand and wiped away the tear at the corner of Xiao Rong’s eye. After a long silence, he finally said, “I won’t say it.”

Xiao Rong looked at him.

Qu Yunmie curved his lips slightly.

“I wanted to say it so you would know, but you already know. So why must I force myself to say it?”

“Rong, it’s fine. If you don’t want to hear it, I won’t say it. I will never force anything you don’t want. Just like this is fine too.”

“You gave me such a good gift. Then I should give you one too.”

“Freedom.”

He emphasized the last two words slightly.

At that moment, the tears Xiao Rong had just wiped away fell again—like two beads slipping away in an instant.

Qu Yunmie never imagined he would say such words. Even as he spoke, he silently mocked himself in his heart: Impressive. I’m practically becoming a romantic sage.

“Don’t cry.”

“I know how exhausting it has been for you to work day after day for me. This world is your effort, not mine, so you don’t want any variables. Then there won’t be any. Whether you remain a minister or anything else, I will not stop you. As long as your identity allows you to stay by my side, I am willing to pretend to be deaf and blind for a lifetime.”

Xiao Rong loosened his fingers. Looking at Qu Yunmie so close to him, he asked in a nasal tone, “Do you think you are very unlucky?”

For falling in love with someone like him.

Qu Yunmie smiled.

“No. I think I am extremely fortunate.”

Then he raised both hands and held Xiao Rong’s face. The bandages made Xiao Rong frown slightly.

Looking at him seriously, Qu Yunmie said, “Meeting you… I have been fortunate across three lifetimes.”

The rough bandages pressed uncomfortably against Xiao Rong’s skin. Hearing such ornate words from Qu Yunmie, Xiao Rong suddenly laughed.

When he laughed, Qu Yunmie also laughed.

The two of them sat facing each other, laughing like fools for a while.

Then Xiao Rong pushed away the hands holding his face, stood up, and muttered, “I should go to sleep.”

Qu Yunmie stood up as well. He turned to leave, but Xiao Rong called him back.

“Do you… want to stay?”

*

Blowing out the lamp wick, the two lay side by side on the bed, neither of them showing any intention of closing their eyes.

The room was quiet and pitch-black. Xiao Rong thought about Qu Yunmie’s words from that night, and then about all the possibilities of the future. These thoughts were all tangled messily in his mind, with not a single thread he could pull out clearly.

He lay there silently looking at the bed curtains for a while, then suddenly spoke.

He seemed to know that Qu Yunmie was not asleep, which was why he called out so boldly, “Qu Yunmie, you still haven’t wished me a happy birthday.”

Qu Yunmie blinked lightly, then immediately replied, “I wish Rong may always see the scenery of early spring, and again meet the harmony of the Seven Stars. I also wish Rong may soon have all his wishes fulfilled and live a joyful life.”

Xiao Rong listened quietly, then closed his eyes.

Qu Yunmie thought he had fallen asleep, but in fact he was making a wish.

His wish was not for himself. He prayed to an unnamed deity, hoping that the one who would ultimately have all their wishes fulfilled would not be him, but Qu Yunmie.

……

The next day, the Northern Army set off on their return journey.

The snowy roads were not easy to travel, but fortunately they had brought sufficient supplies. Moreover, everyone had been away for far too long, and all of them were eager to return home. Even the endless white landscape could not slow their steps.

There was another reason: they really needed to hurry back, or else no one would make it home in time for the New Year.

……

At the end of October, on the fifth day of the eleventh month, Qu Yunmie and his men finally returned to Chenliu.

The hardships of the journey did not need to be mentioned in detail. After entering the city, many of them felt less like they had returned home and more like refugees being taken into a capital for resettlement.

Chenliu itself was in good condition. So far, it has only seen one snowfall. Song Shuo had arranged for people to clear the main city roads, so the streets were now dry and passable.

This made things convenient both for the residents and for the returning army. As soon as they entered the city, they were met with an extremely enthusiastic welcome from the people of Chenliu.

Zhang Biezhi was waiting outside the city to receive them. From far away, Xiao Rong could already see someone waving their arms wildly, jumping up and down with exaggerated movements—so much so that someone unaware might think he was performing some kind of ritual dance.

There was only one person in Chenliu who would behave so freely in front of Qu Yunmie. Instantly, Xiao Rong remembered how he had once scolded Zhang Biezhi. Looking at him now, he still felt that his description had been quite accurate.

Important figures in the city had all left with the army, so it was reasonable that Zhang Biezhi had become the one to welcome them. As they got closer, Xiao Rong realized that it was not only Zhang Biezhi there—the Buddha’s Son was also present. Even though his head did not reflect light, it was still very noticeable under the sun.

……

The “monkey and the bald monk”—this was the welcoming lineup for the returning army.

Xiao Rong did not mind at all. Seeing their faces, he immediately felt excited, as if his heart had floated up into the air. Although he had not been separated from the Buddha’s Son for long—they had even played chess together last month—seeing Mingjing standing at the city gate smiling at him still gave him the feeling of having endured a long journey.

Of course, part of that was because he had nearly died recently, but more importantly, he had returned home.

The soldiers shouted behind him, “We’re home! We’re finally home!”

“Hahaha! We’re back!”

Before even entering the city, they were very excited. If outsiders saw this, they would think they lacked discipline entirely. Under normal circumstances, Qu Yunmie would definitely have punished such unruly behavior, but today, he did not. They were already at the gates of home—why dampen their spirits? Moreover, there were no outsiders here. They were all their own people.

*

Xiao Rong got down from the city gate. He didn’t want to follow the main army into the city and be showered by the citizens’ “welcome offerings.” Last time, the bump he got from being hit by them had taken a long time to go down. More importantly, he had other things he wanted to ask.

He looked left and right but did not see Song Shuo anywhere. Xiao Rong couldn’t help worrying. “Why didn’t Song Shuo come? Could he have overworked himself and fallen ill? Or is it too cold and his weak constitution has acted up again?”

Zhang Biezhi had originally been grinning at him, but upon hearing this, his expression immediately collapsed.

“So you only care about Song Shuo? You don’t care about me at all? Yiyang was conquered by me, didn’t my brother-in-law tell you that? I also stood here waiting for you all morning! Why don’t you ask if I’m cold??”

“…”

Xiao Rong looked at him silently. “Then are you cold?”

“I am!” Zhang Biezhi said angrily. “Not my body—it’s my heart. There’s no place for me in your heart at all!”

Xiao Rong instinctively turned back. Only then did he remember that Qu Yunmie had already led the army into the city. He rubbed his nose awkwardly, and at that moment, his eyes met someone else who had also turned around.

Mingjing: “…”

Xiao Rong looked at him, his gaze gradually becoming puzzled.

His eyes clearly asked: Why did you turn around?

Mingjing: “…”

Amitabha. This monk did not know.

*

After the Buddhist monk returned to Chenliu with the troops, the garrison stationed in Yiyang City no longer needed to remain on such high alert. Song Shuo arranged troop rotations and also transferred Zhang Biezhi back.

During the time when Yuan Baifu rebelled, not only Yizhou and Ningzhou were in a state of extreme tension, the entire world had been shaken. Southern Yong citizens began fleeing in masses, while civilians north of the Han River shut their doors and did not dare go out. Song Shuo worried there might be traitors in the city and carried out a sweeping reform.

As for the unlucky Yuan family members, they were detained the day after Song Shuo learned of Yuan Baifu’s rebellion, and were waiting for Qu Yunmie and the others to return to deal with them.

News traveled from over 500km away. Even when the people in Chenliu learned bad news, it was of no use—they could only stare in anxious helplessness.

Xiao Rong’s kidnapping and rescue reports arrived at the same time. Everyone reading the letters felt like they were on a rollercoaster. Hearing this, Xiao Rong immediately asked whether Madam Chen knew about it.

Zhang Biezhi answered carelessly, “Of course she doesn’t know. The old madam hasn’t caused any trouble these past months. She has stayed in her room and saved everyone a lot of trouble.”

Xiao Rong frowned. “Then my grandmother’s health…”

“She’s fine!” Zhang Biezhi said. “She can still eat three large flatbreads in one meal.”

“…”

Seems she was indeed fine.

Everyone was doing well. Song Shuo not coming to greet them was not because of an illness, but for another reason. As for what reason, Zhang Biezhi told Xiao Rong to go see for himself.

……

After some time apart, Xiao Rong realized Zhang Biezhi’s temper had grown sharper, and he was genuinely intimidated by him.

To wait for the main army to pass, the group entered a nearby teahouse and sat on woven mats. Xiao Rong was startled when he sat down and reached out to touch the mat on the ground.

Zhang Biezhi laughed. “You don’t know what this is, right? This is called a ground kang. A craftsman came up with it not long after you left. Now most restaurants in the city use it, and many chairs have been removed.”

“…”

Xiao Rong was just surprised, but was able to recognize what it was.

His patience for Zhang Biezhi was gradually wearing thin. Unfortunately, Zhang Biezhi did not notice at all and kept chattering about changes in the city.

Xiao Rong waved his hand. “Enough, enough. We can talk about this later. Has anything happened in the city?”

Zhang Biezhi scratched his head. “Nope. Everyone’s been worried since the King left, afraid bandits or refugees would rush in. Nobody’s caused trouble.”

Xiao Rong asked again, “What about Southern Yong? Any movements recently?”

Zhang Biezhi opened his mouth to answer, but Mingjing spoke first.

“No major movements, but minor ones kept happening. Shen Yangrui has been removed from his post.”

Xiao Rong froze. “Removed from his post?!”

He was a Grand General—Sun Renluan’s most capable aide. How could he have been removed?

Mingjing nodded. “The exact details are unclear. Southern Yong now has a different Grand General. Grand Marshal Sun Renluan is recruiting troops across all cities. They know this time they have truly enraged the King. If, as the King said, we attack again in spring next year, Jinling will not be so easy to take.”

Xiao Rong hesitated. “You mean…”

Mingjing said, “You should find a way to persuade the King. It would be best to attack sooner.”

“…”

Even the monk was recommending an earlier war.

Xiao Rong understood his meaning. The earlier they attacked, the better. If Sun Renluan fully mobilized troops from all cities, Jinling—already a fortress—would become even harder to break.

Jinling was best at defense. As for climbing walls or opening gates from within, that trick had already been used in the Xianbei campaign and likely could not be repeated.

After thinking for a moment, Xiao Rong still shook his head.

“I understand your concern. You want to reduce casualties, but these months are not suitable for war. The soldiers are exhausted. The Left Army has suffered heavy losses and is not yet trustworthy. The Front and Right Armies are scattered in Xianbei and Khitan territories. The Rear Army is in even worse condition. General Wang’s leg is injured, and who knows what internal injuries he may still have. We need rest and recovery. The King knows this too, which is why he set the campaign for next spring.”

He paused and comforted Mingjing. “Don’t worry. Southern Yong is already one step away from destruction. Even if we delay, victory is still guaranteed for the King. From my understanding of the Shen army, Jinling’s defenders are probably the same. They will likely surrender quickly once we reach them.”

Mingjing: “…”

Zhang Biezhi: “…”

They should be happy, but learning that their compatriots were all this cowardly made them feel complicated.

No one spoke for a moment.

Mingjing picked up his tea and was about to drink when he suddenly remembered something.

“By the way, the Right Army has already returned.”

Xiao Rong was drinking tea, but after hearing this, he almost spilled it. “They’ve returned? Gongsun Yuan led them back in victory?”

Mingjing nodded. “The military report arrived two days ago. The Khitan have surrendered. Gongsun Yuan escorted the Khitan King back to Chenliu, while Yu Shaocheng remained behind with troops, awaiting new orders from the King.”

Xiao Rong felt a bit of PTSD and frowned. “Why didn’t Gongsun Yuan wait for orders?”

Could he also be going down the same path as Yuan Baifu? Or was he dissatisfied with Qu Yunmie because his good brother had died??

It wasn’t strange for him to think this way. In recorded history, Gongsun Yuan and Yuan Baifu had both rebelled. Yuan Baifu first, and Gongsun Yuan later joined him. Afterward, Yuan Baifu died quietly, while Gongsun Yuan lasted a little longer before dying in a minor battle. A few months later, the man who killed him also died on the battlefield.

When the world fell into chaos, wars broke out endlessly. Without a strong leader, the realm became a place of disorder where no one obeyed anyone. Although Qu Yunmie was heavily criticized, during the years he held power, people actually lived relatively stable lives because his strength deterred most challengers.

Xiao Rong sincerely hoped Gongsun Yuan would not act impulsively. Yuan Baifu had already exhausted Qu Yunmie’s last bit of goodwill toward them. If he followed the same path, he might end up dying even more miserably than Yuan Baifu.

 

Edited by: Antiope

 

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