Sympathy? Do you think after I heard about this, my feelings toward you are sympathy? Then tell me, before I woke up, did you ever sympathize with me?”
Xiao Rong’s grip on Qu Yunmie’s hand tightened slightly. Qu Yunmie looked away, glanced at Xiao Rong’s knuckles turning white from gripping hard, then looked back at him. “So, no.”
Qu Yunmie was silent for a moment, then continued, “Have you noticed you’ve always been guarding against me?”
Xiao Rong raised his eyes. His gaze was somewhat fierce, but Qu Yunmie remained calm. “By my past words and deeds, I’m not a good commander or a good Northern Garrison King. So every time, when you assume I caused the trouble, I didn’t blame you for that. But in front of you… I always showed the best of myself. Yet you always misunderstood my meaning, attributed to me thoughts I never had. You seem to believe I’ll hurt you sooner or later.”
Xiao Rong could no longer maintain his fierceness. Qu Yunmie’s words rushed into his mind, making him uneasy. At that moment, his hand was suddenly held by Qu Yunmie, who didn’t use much force, only a gentle grip that made Xiao Rong loosen his hold.
Qu Yunmie’s hand was warm, but Xiao Rong’s hand was cold like an ice cube. Qu Yunmie frowned, covering Xiao Rong’s fist with one hand. Knowing Xiao Rong wouldn’t want to hear this, he still asked, “Xiao Rong, have you ever thought about why you fear me when you aren’t afraid of anyone else in this world?”
Suddenly, Xiao Rong pulled his hand away from Qu Yunmie, sneered coldly, and retorted stiffly, “Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve never been afraid of you. I just—”
He didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Qu Yunmie looked at him and finished it for him. “You just inexplicably became like this. It’s not your choice, and it’s not something you can figure out.”
Qu Yunmie shouldn’t have said that because after he did, visibly, Xiao Rong calmed down. He lowered his head, took a deep breath, then raised his head again. “Being physically weak doesn’t mean my heart is weak. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t want to see a general give up fighting on the battlefield just because he worries about me. Your Majesty, your life has been magnificent, your era has just begun, and you shouldn’t become a stagnant pool at this time. If you give up your freedom because of me, that’s when I would really hate you.”
Qu Yunmie absorbed his words but was puzzled about one thing. “But you also said you didn’t want me to act impulsively and hoped I would cherish my life.”
Xiao Rong lowered his eyes and suddenly laughed. “Exactly.”
After laughing, with the afterglow, he looked up again but without any smile in his eyes. “This is who I am, Your Majesty. Something I can’t do myself, but I hope you can. I want you to continue with your glorious warlike spirit, to conquer and overwhelm. I want you safe and victorious.”
He smiled again at Qu Yunmie, but Qu Yunmie really couldn’t smile with him because Xiao Rong didn’t look well. His smile was self-mocking, and though he spoke jokingly, anyone could hear the self-disgust in his words.
Xiao Rong probably didn’t realize this because he still asked Qu Yunmie, “Your Majesty, do you think I still look like a gentleman now?”
Qu Yunmie looked at the corner of Xiao Rong’s mouth that curled up. He was silent for a moment, then suddenly raised his hand and pressed down on the dimples on both sides of Xiao Rong’s face, quite childishly.
Xiao Rong: “…”
Qu Yunmie said, “I didn’t like the way you forced a smile.”
After a pause, he added, “From a scholar’s standard, you didn’t look like a gentleman at all.”
Xiao Rong’s expression changed slightly. Immediately after, Qu Yunmie said the next sentence, “But by my standard, no matter what, you are fine.”
Xiao Rong: “…”
He tried to step back again, but Qu Yunmie seemed to know what he was thinking. He pressed a little harder on Xiao Rong’s cheeks. This seemed to be a silent warning telling Xiao Rong to listen to what he had to say.
This time, Xiao Rong really couldn’t smile. He quietly looked at Qu Yunmie, who quietly looked back at him. Suddenly, Qu Yunmie smiled. Unlike Xiao Rong’s forced smile, this one was truly from the heart.
Qu Yunmie said, “I really don’t know how you lived so long before meeting me. Such unreasonable demands, how could ordinary people possibly meet them?”
Saying this, the smile on his face grew wider. “But I’m not an ordinary person. If there is only one person in this world who can meet your expectations, that person must be me.”
Xiao Rong: “…”
He had just said he wanted to see Qu Yunmie’s overwhelming, imposing expression, but now that Qu Yunmie really showed that proud look, Xiao Rong had the urge to roll his eyes.
That said, after brushing away Qu Yunmie’s hand, Xiao Rong touched his own cheek and realized it felt warm and was probably a bit red.
He couldn’t help but mutter, “Before I met you, I wouldn’t have demanded this from anyone. I was originally a refined gentleman. After knowing you, I became hypocritical.”
He said this on purpose to vent a little, but after hearing it, Qu Yunmie laughed out loud. “That’s really great. I become better, you become worse. Maybe one day, we’ll end up the same.”
Xiao Rong imagined himself holding the Snow-Drinking Spear, shouting “kill, kill, kill!” while Qu Yunmie sat calmly behind him, squinting and chatting with others.
Xiao Rong: “…”
He got goosebumps.
*
For the second time, Jian Qiao informed Yu Shaoxie, who brought along Yu Shaocheng, whose spy network was very balanced. The royal tent was large, and Yu Shaocheng, having the best hearing, naturally stood on the front line of eavesdropping, constantly relaying conversations inside to those behind.
Yu Shaocheng: “…”
He really didn’t care at all whether the King and Xiao Rong were arguing.
While Yu Shaocheng was eavesdropping, Yu Shaoxie was scolding himself. “When I saw Rong’s state back then, I knew his old problem recurred, but I never guessed it was this serious. No wonder Mr. Gao and others were so careful with Rong. I—I was really incompetent.”
Yu Shaocheng’s ears twitched, and he turned to ask suspiciously, “Brother, you’re not related to Xiao Rong. What does your competence have to do with him?”
Yu Shaoxie said, “Who told you to listen to me? Listen to what’s inside!”
Yu Shaocheng silently turned his head back again.
Jian Qiao looked at Yu Shaocheng’s restless appearance and couldn’t help but recall his own troublesome Zhang Biezhi.
He seemed not to say more because Zhang Biezhi performed very well this time. He successfully escorted Xiao Rong and others, kept his mouth shut tightly, and in three days at the camp, didn’t reveal a single thing he shouldn’t. When Xiao Rong told him to leave, everyone expected Zhang Biezhi to make a fuss, but he didn’t. He told Xiao Rong to take care of himself, then sadly followed Gao Xunzhi away.
The kid had grown up. Finally, the day came, but Jian Qiao felt a bit strange about it.
Such things could only be told to one’s wife in a letter, so he put away his feelings and quietly advised Yu Shaoxie, “Sir Yu, don’t blame yourself too much. If Mr. Xiao doesn’t want to talk about it, how could we know? This time we owe it to the Buddhist Disciple, otherwise, we would only learn after returning to Chenliu.”
Yu Shaoxie pursed his lips upon hearing this.
Just arriving at the camp and causing such a big incident, Yu Shaoxie felt this wasn’t so simple. Maybe the Buddhist Disciple did it on purpose.
Whatever, it wasn’t the most important matter now. Yu Shaoxie patted Yu Shaocheng’s shoulder and quietly asked, “What are they talking about? Are they still arguing?”
Yu Shaocheng replied, “They’re not arguing anymore. Xiao Rong is talking to the King about rectifying the army. That some generals and scholars are undisciplined and eavesdropping on the royal tent’s messages. If other soldiers followed suit, it would be bad.”
Yu Shaoxie: “…”
Yu Shaocheng pricked up his ears again and reported, “Xiao Rong suggests corporal punishment. If caught once, twenty lashes.”
Jian Qiao: “…”
They all left dejectedly. Inside the royal tent, Xiao Rong asked Qu Yunmie, “Have they left?”
Qu Yunmie nodded. “They left.”
…
Yu Shaocheng’s hearing was indeed good, but Qu Yunmie’s was even better. He could hear whether there was anyone outside even lying in bed, though most of the time he didn’t care or say anything.
Compared to that, Xiao Rong’s hearing was ordinary. If Qu Yunmie hadn’t reminded him, he wouldn’t have known someone was eavesdropping again.
Xiao Rong said, “This group was raised by Chancellor Gao. We can’t let them be so indulgent anymore.”
Qu Yunmie squinted, seeming to recall, “Didn’t you eavesdrop with him once? Back in the palace.”
Xiao Rong: “…”
You still remember such an old thing!
After a pause, he said, “I’ve realized my mistakes. I won’t make them again, and others shouldn’t either.”
Qu Yunmie chuckled. “It’s fine. You can eavesdrop on what I say anytime. I have nothing to hide from you.”
Xiao Rong said, “That’s not allowed either. Rules are rules.”
Qu Yunmie looked at him while thinking, ‘you haven’t followed any rules either.’
The atmosphere had finally softened a bit, and he didn’t want to ruin it, so he said something else. “You came immediately after vomiting blood, didn’t you?”
Xiao Rong’s eyelashes trembled, and he said, “You know I often vomit blood, but that doesn’t stop me from doing other things. My constitution is different. Spitting some blood is just detoxifying.”
After speaking, he smiled at Qu Yunmie, who looked at him heavily without a word.
Xiao Rong was moved and said, “I know my own body. The King need not worry.”
Qu Yunmie snorted but still said nothing.
Xiao Rong: “…”
After a moment, he changed the subject. “King, do you still remember the last words you left?”
Qu Yunmie turned his head. He didn’t understand why Xiao Rong brought it up, so he just said, “Mm.”
Qu Yunmie was a little afraid Xiao Rong intended to settle scores later, but Xiao Rong didn’t mean that. He just had a question for Qu Yunmie. “Among the four generals, General Yuan was the one the King trusted most. I want to know why the King didn’t give the Northern Army to him but gave it to General Jian instead.”
Qu Yunmie was stunned and recalled the situation back then. Actually, he didn’t have time to think deeply, everything was arranged instinctively. After thinking carefully, it wasn’t hard to guess why he did that. “Though I trusted Yuan Baifu, he wasn’t as obedient to you as Jian Qiao. I didn’t give the Northern Army to Jian Qiao, I gave it to you.”
Xiao Rong quietly looked at him.
Though he said “obedient to you,” in that scene it was actually obedient to Qu Yunmie, because they listened to Qu Yunmie first, then Xiao Rong. It seemed Qu Yunmie himself knew that at critical moments, this childhood friend wasn’t trustworthy.
It was unknown whether Yuan Baifu knew about this.
Edited by: Antiope
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