When Zhong Qi entered the classroom, he saw his deskmate already sitting in his seat, propping up his head and writing something.

It was a rare sight. From Zhong Qi’s impression of Lin Shiyu, he rarely wrote things. He usually just looked, listened, or maybe he wasn’t even looking or listening, just sitting in his seat, lost in his own thoughts.

Zhong Qi walked to his desk and glanced at the paper on Lin Shiyu’s desk. The paper had the words “self-reflection letter” written on it

He was surprised.

Gao Jie passed by and also curiously glanced at Lin Shiyu’s desk. With just one look, he paused for a moment, then quickly bent down and got closer to him. “Lin Shiyu, are you writing a self-reflection letter?”

Gao Jie didn’t mean to be annoying. His eyesight was naturally poor, with more than 2.0 degrees of nearsightedness combined with astigmatism, so everything appeared blurry to him. It was that his voice was too loud. With that exclamation, the whole class knew that Lin Shiyu was writing a self-reflection letter.

Lin Shiyu took a deep breath and snapped his pen. ‘What does it have to do with you?”

“It’s none of my business, it’s none of my business.” Gao Jie shrugged, his plump figure trembling. Being stared at like that by Lin Shiyu made him reluctantly move back to his own desk and sit down obediently.

From Lin Shiyu’s expression, it seemed like he was forced to do it. He looked extremely angry, and was completely losing his patience. He had only written one and a half lines on the self-reflection letter, as he couldn’t squeeze out any more words no matter what.

Zhong Qi felt like Lin Shiyu had poked at his strange sense of humor again.

The final disciplinary action given by the school was that Lin Shiyu wouldn’t receive a demerit, but he had to write a three thousand word self-reflection letter. He would have to read it publicly in front of the entire school during the flag-raising ceremony on Monday and apologize to the two boys.

When Li Zhong told Lin Shiyu about the disciplinary action he said, “Write the self-reflection letter seriously, and read it seriously when the time comes. Don’t mess around. The principal and the headmaster will be sitting there watching you. Because of you, I’ve been bombarded with phone calls from their parents these past few days, one after another. They are almost pointing their fingers at me. Don’t cause any more trouble, got it?”

Lin Shiyu started the self-reflection letter, but he truly couldn’t write it.

He stared at a blank sheet of paper throughout the whole morning self-study session, skipping breakfast as well and struggling with a pen and a piece of paper. Zhong Qi returned to the classroom after he finished eating breakfast in the cafeteria, and saw his desk mate still in the same position, without even a change to his posture.

Gao Jie also returned after finishing his breakfast, holding a bag of hot buns in his hand. Seeing that Lin Shiyu hadn’t written a single word, he kindly offered some advice. “Why don’t you just search for a self-reflection letter on your phone? Just copy and paste.”

Gao Jie’s desk mate, Chen Xiaoxin, turned around and said, “Or you can ask me to write it for you. Ten characters for one yuan, a special friendship price.”

Gao Jie was so surprised that he almost dropped his buns. “You can earn a hundred yuan from one self-reflection letter? How capable you are!”

Lin Shiyu was annoyed by their disturbances, especially Gao Jie, who spoke like a Young Master, causing his temples to throb. He was about to lose his temper when a bag of bread was suddenly thrown onto his desk.

Lin Shiyu was momentarily stunned, then he turned to look at Zhong Qi. Zhong Qi lowered his head and opened a carton of milk. Seeing Lin Shiyu’s gaze, he said, “I bought it at the convenience store. Eat it.”

Then he added, “Having a full stomach will give you the energy to write the self-reflection paper.”

Lin Shiyu’s face showed an expression of ‘I’ve had enough.’ Without being polite to Zhong Qi, he took the bread, opened the bag, and started eating. He was clearly hungry as he finished the bread in a few bites. Then he threw away the bag, lowered his head, and continued writing.

Is writing a self-reflection letter so difficult? Zhong Qi felt a bit puzzled as Lin Shiyu appeared as if he were studying the mysteries of the world’s top unsolved problems. They had been in class for most of the period, and this person had only written half a page of content for his self-reflection letter. Considering his output and efficiency, it seemed like he had no intention of truly repenting.

“Hey.”

A soft voice made Zhong Qi  startle. Realizing that Lin Shiyu was calling him, he put down his pen and saw Lin Shiyu moving closer. A refreshing and clean breath wafted over, rippling like water in the bright morning light.

“What else should I write in a self-reflection letter besides explaining the situation and apologizing?”

Zhong Qi: “…”

Zhong Qi adjusted his sitting position slightly, his shoulders leaning towards Lin Shiyu and he lowered his head a bit. “You also need to write about how you recognize your own mistakes, where you went wrong, and how to correct them.”

“Do I need to write all of that?”

“Otherwise, what’s the purpose is there to a self-criticism letter?”

After a brief bit of guidance, they each turned back to their own work. Just as Zhong Qi picked up his pen, he heard an inexplicable muttering from beside him. “Where did I go wrong?”

Li Zhong— was truly a crafty old fox. Compared to giving Lin Shiyu punishments or keeping him confined at home for reflection, making him write a self-reflection letter directly struck at the heart of the matter, targeting his weakest point. The effect was more immediate than the threat of expulsion.

Zhong Qi sincerely suggested, “You should search for it on Baidu.”

In the end, with the help of his phone and some struggle, Lin Shiyu wrote nearly three thousand characters. Li Zhong specially checked the self-reflection letter to prevent Lin Shiyu’s thought process from producing anything strange and mind-boggling. Fortunately, the self-reflection was well within the norms, and after Li Zhong confirmed its accuracy, he let Lin Shiyu go.

Afterwards though, he regretted it. He regretted it greatly.

On Monday morning, during the flag-raising ceremony, all the students and teachers gathered on the playground. In the sea of people many students were still half asleep, yawning and moving slowly with the crowd.

Zhong Qi woke up late and didn’t go upstairs to put his backpack away. Instead, he carried it on his back as he searched for his class’s group. He quickly found the familiar end of the line, where the tallest students stood. Among them, Gao Jie’s height and weight dominated, proudly standing at the back. The other tall student was Mao Silu, who had a good physique due to his love for sports and had a sunny disposition. He should have been quite popular, but he was a bit clueless.

Gao Jie rubbed his hands excitedly. “Is Lin Shiyu going to give a speech when our class goes up later?”

Mao Silu didn’t sit with them and wasn’t familiar with Lin Shiyu, so he asked in confusion, “What speech is he going to give?”

“A self-reflection speech.”

“Why does he need to do it?”

Gao Jie exaggeratedly explained the situation to Mao Silu, adding his own imaginative embellishments, making Zhong Qi want to recommend him for a job in some online news department.

Mao Silu had been on the verge of falling asleep, but was now wide awake. Half disbelieving, he asked, “Is he really that amazing? He single-handedly took down two senior high school athletes? He also made them cry and beg for mercy?” Nudging the person standing in front of him named Ruan Zhikai, Mao Silu said, “He might even be stronger than you.”

Ruan Zhikai lazily lowered his head, playing with his mobile phone as he scoffed. “You’re such a gullible fool if you believe his nonsense.”

Mao Silu finally realized that he had been fooled and attempted to choke Gao Jie. The two big guys tangled with each other, causing chaos at the back of the line. Zhong Qi and Ruan Zhikai stepped forward in disdain, pushing the two aside.

After the flag-raising ceremony, Lin Shiyu walked up to the flag podium.

He caused quite a stir. Not only because of his outstanding appearance, but also because of his outfit: the familiar pink Hello Kitty pattern, a women’s shirt and shiny pink shoes.

He even brought his pink bunny-head backpack to the flag podium.

Mao Silu looked dumbfounded as he asked, “Why did he bring the bag up there?”

Zhong Qi casually replied, “Maybe he came late?”

Lin Shiyu stood expressionless on the flag podium. He took out two crumpled pieces of paper from his bag, unfolded them, and began to read.

Behind him sat the principal and a row of teachers.

First, he described the incident and explained why he fought and how he injured those two boys. However, he didn’t mention a word about his own injuries. It was unclear whether it was due to him wanting to save face or simply not wanting to waste words on it.

Then he started analyzing his own mistakes. Why he fought, the disadvantages of fighting, and quoted a bunch of sentences that seemed to be taken from political textbooks or search engines. It included phrases like “not caring for and cherishing friendships with classmates,” “the need to improve personal qualities,” and “a lack of collective honor and unity consciousness,” among others.

Hearing this, Zhong Qi in the audience couldn’t help but try to hold back his laughter.

Finally, Lin Shiyu concluded, “It’s all my fault. I’m sorry, I will change.” Then he was finished.

“Although he apologized, his attitude was still unsatisfactory,” said the senior teacher after listening to his self-reflection and frowning. “You must realize how serious it is to let your impulsiveness affect others’ futures. In your self-reflection I didn’t sense any of your sincerity.”

Someone nearby added, “Self-reflection is meant for reflecting on one’s inner self and truly and profoundly recognizing one’s mistakes. Of course, Lin Shiyu isn’t just going through the motions either. However, since he had to apologize in front of the entire school, it shows that the matter is indeed serious.”

Lin Shiyu stood alone in the center of the stage, maintaining a cold expression as he received criticism from all teachers. Everyone in the audience watched him, but he seemed unaffected by it all.

“…The school strives to take care of every student and ensure that all students receive fair and just treatment in education. Young people are prone to impulsive behavior, and this can be fixed slowly with guidance …”

“… So, Lin Shiyu, do you recognize the severity of the problem?”

Lin Shiyu felt restless. When he heard those words, an image flashed in his mind—Lin Wanyue sitting on the dirty ground, crying desperately. Lin Wanyue wasn’t one to make a fuss. She laughed more than she cried, but when she did cry, it was with great force, her voice strained and exhausted. It wasn’t because she felt sad, Lin Wanyue rarely felt sadness. Her crying only signified intense pain.

On that day, her head must have been hit hard, with blood staining her porcelain-white forehead. Their mother also looked as if she was about to cry. Despite being a middle-aged woman, she couldn’t lift her head in front of the two high school students. She also didn’t do anything wrong, so why should she beg for forgiveness?

These two precious and fragile women were most important in his life. Lin Shiyu had witnessed it too many times as he grew up watching them. Whether it was his deeply hated biological father, the man who destroyed everything, or ignorant passersby, anyone could trample on them, leaving behind a trail of dust and then casually walk away.

Lin Shiyu didn’t know what to do. He had no experience, and he was equally vulnerable. The only way was to utilize every thorn on him to the fullest. He had to be extremely vigilant, injuring anyone who tried to invade the soft fruit beneath his protection, making every malicious intent bleed under his thorns. Only then could he deter everyone and carve out some peace for himself.

But life’s road was long. Lin Shiyu knew that. Malice would never cease, never.

So tranquility would never come.

Lin Shiyu lowered his gaze, and his eyelashes cast a faint shadow on his skin. The morning sunlight was warm and cozy, caressing his ankles and climbing up to the nape of his neck, casting a shallow halo of light on his body.

He spoke indifferently, “If I am bad, what about them?”

Lin Shiyu’s voice wasn’t loud, but standing in front of the microphone, his words spread throughout the entire square.

Gao Jie, Mao Silu, and Ruan Zhikai wore expressions of shock. The audience below fell into silence, and even the director’s face displayed a range of emotions.

Zhong Qi looked up at Lin Shiyu on the flag podium.

He was thin, but Zhong Qi knew that beneath the soft clothing hid a body that wasn’t weak. Despite the seemingly calm posture and feminine attire, he openly displayed resistance, aversion, estrangement, and aggressiveness, making him the most difficult individual to approach in the crowd.

The sunlight fell on Lin Shiyu, casting a silent shadow on him.

Truly, he was a solitary person.

 

 

Edited by: Jaisland

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